Here's the thing. I don't know who I am writing for at this point anymore. I spent years trying to build my social media presence. All for a book that I didn't write. A book I only had ideas for but never created. I spent three years cultivating friendships and creating posts for now it seems like nothing. I did it all because I started building my relationship up with God in January. Eventually, I realized that he was speaking to me. He was guiding me into a new season of my life and the more I pushed against it the more social media became a burden. The more anything I was doing became a burden. The more I worked on posts and things the more I realized that was not what God wanted from me anymore. Maybe not even at all. I was focused on building things for myself and for my own personal gain. Writing the book never happened because I was doing it for myself. I could never find the words, the time, or the motivation to do so. The idea of writing a book used to bring me such feelings of purpose, and now I have that feeling not because of something that I can do but because of whatever God wants me to do. The only reason I am writing this today is because I felt called to sit down and write again for now. I am not writing to be famous, to bring myself anything but just let the words free. I want whatever I write to be what He wants me to write. My life is more than a best seller or a movie deal, and even more than any dream that I could ever dream. This life that I live is merely a drop in the ocean, a blinking star in the sky. His plans for me are so much bigger than I could ever come up with on my own. For now, I am slowly making my way back to social media but with a different mindset. The matter of what I post and what I will say is still unclear to me. I have prayed for guidance on what to do, or if I am supposed to bother at all. Until then I will write when I can, or feel it on my heart to share. The future is unclear and letting go of all of that work was scary. I did not want to do it either but whatever chapter comes next is worth letting it go. 

This blog will simply be a check-in place for me to drop my thoughts, what God is speaking to me, or any of the hobbies that I may feel led to share. 

If God is calling you to do something and you are scared to do it please know that is a normal feeling to feel. We are so used to having the ability to see and touch the things we do and work towards things we wish to do for ourselves. Allowing God to move into your life and make plans for you can be hard to adjust to because of the "unknown". All I can tell you is that in my experience whenever I have tried to do things it was never as good as when I let God do things.

That is all I want to do now. 

I hope you take care of yourself, remember you are loved beyond any human comprehension. Please find some cozy in your day today, and a smile in your heart.

Love,

A ( Wild Rose)